Fears in Midlife: Dream Blocker #4

Uncategorized Nov 05, 2020

DREAM BLOCKER #4: The fear that I’m thinking too much of myself because it’s too big a dream


In this series of 5 articles, you will learn:

  • The 5 Dream Blockers -- fears blocking midlife women from fulfilling their dreams and living their next best lives
  • How to shatter those 5 fears with 8 Timeless Truths and 4 Inspired Ideas
  • Tips, techniques and strategies to succeed in spite of failure (A special offer)

In this article, we’ll be looking at Dream Blocker #4. For the rest of the articles, go to Dream Blocker #1, Dream Blocker #2, Dream Blocker #3 and Dream Blocker #5


What stands in your way?

Let’s be honest.

It’s one thing to encourage you to not let anything stand in the way of fulfilling your dream, but the reality is, things do stand in your way, with many of them coming from inside us, whether they come from the circumstances of our childhood, from what influential others (like parents) have said about us or by what we learned about ourselves as adults.

I call them “Dream Blockers” and they are often built upon fear. These Dream Blockers stand in the way of our living the lives we were created to live, lives that can bring us the deepest fulfillment and joy we can imagine.

When we allow those Dream Blockers to box us in, we live small. And when we live small, we deprive ourselves and the world of all that we are, all that we offer. This doesn’t serve us, at all.

But you don’t have to let those Dream Blockers stand in the way of your dream. You can overcome them. And I’m here to help you do just that.

So let’s get started.

DREAM BLOCKER #4: The fear that I’m thinking too much of myself because it’s too big a dream

This is a combination of feeling inadequate -- Dream Blocker #1 -- and the realization that it IS a big dream -- Dream Blocker #3. If these words describe you, I recommend you read or re-read these articles.

After you do, consider what I have to say next.

My Story

When we realize that what we’re confronting is a “big dream” and that we don’t feel up to the task, it could be due more to our living smaller than we realize and not necessarily due to our feeling inadequate. To illustrate, let me share with you a true story.

Now I’ve always been one who likes challenges and who was encouraged as she grew up that: “You can be anything you want to be, if you just work hard.” Growing up with such positive encouragement and academic accomplishments to match, I usually didn’t have much self-doubt to contend with, even as I entered middle age.

So it was that in 2008 at age 51 I ran for public office for the first time: for the office of state representative, running against the incumbent, Rep. Andy Dillon who also happened to be speaker of the house. I knew the odds were against me, as my opponent was well-recognized, better funded ($100,000 in his war chest compared to my $11,000) and benefiting from the “Obama-tsunami” that hit that year.

But I ran anyway, working hard, day-in and day-out, knocking on countless doors, speaking before groups, asking for money, and participating in debates, even going on a candidates forum broadcast on public television. As I worked hard, so did my volunteers, driving me into the neighborhoods so that I could go door-to-door, or managing the details of my fundraisers.

My opponent’s war chest allowed him to mail six waves of “hit pieces” against me, a common political practice. These hit pieces had my photo and all said I wasn’t a serious candidate. Hmmmm. If that were true, then why would his campaign waste its money? Political wisdom said it wasn’t true, that their internal polling must have shown I was a serious candidate. (Funny thing, sometimes when I’d go to a home after one of those pieces had been mailed, the person who answered the door would say, “Oh, I got your literature . . .” It seems that Speaker of the House Dillon and his party were actually helping fund my campaign. I appreciated their generosity.)

And so, by the grace of God and the hard work of all of us, I garnered 34% of the vote.

The day after the election, my friend, John, took the day off work to spend it with me, helping me decompress. As we were taking a relaxing stroll around the mall he said to me that having run this campaign proved I could do something bigger. And you know, he was right. I realized then and there that I had been “living small” when I had the energy, focus and determination to do more. My realization of a “big dream” bigger than myself was not so much that I was living my life, feeling inadequate. It was more that I was living in a comfort zone that, unknown to me, kept me and my dreams small by comparison.


First, refer to TIMELESS TRUTHS #1-2 and #4-8. Here they are, for your convenience:

TIMELESS TRUTH #1:  Early messages of your in adequacy are false.

TIMELESS TRUTH #2: You are loved. God loves you—loves you just as you are, fears and all—more than you can ever imagine.

TIMELESS TRUTH #4: You were created in God’s image. God created man (and woman) in His image. God is also a creative God.

TIMELESS TRUTH #5: You are creative. As God is creative – and man (and woman) – created in His image, then it also stands to reason that both men and women are creative creatures.

TIMELESS TRUTH #6: You have a unique life mission.

TIMELESS TRUTH #7: That life mission could be “big”.

TIMELESS TRUTH #8: Doesn’t matter if your life mission is big; you can do it.

So if you find your dream seeming to be “too big,” ask yourself if it’s because you feel inadequate, it feels too big, or because you’ve been living too small.

 Since fear of failure can be a complex issue and it does affect a majority of people, I discuss it at length in my 20-page eBook  “The Achiever’s Guide to Failure”. You'll also get tips, techniques and strategies to succeed in spite of failure. (See the special offer, below.)


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