The Pessimist’s Guide to Cultivating Gratitude

I'm an optimist. I'm not just a glass-is-half-full kind of gal but a glass-is-overflowing kind of gal, so it's easy for me to be grateful and it's easy for me to cultivate gratitude. 

However, for some of you, it's not as easy, as you may be more pessimistic. You may be a glass-is-half-empty kind of person. That's OK. It doesn't mean that you can't practice gratitude; it just means you have to approach it differently.

 8 Gratitude-cultivating Tips for Pessimists

Here are 8 ways that you, too, dear pessimist, can cultivate gratitude: 

1. Gratitude journaling with a twist: Instead of listing things you're grateful for, journal about the challenges you’ve faced and how you’ve overcome them—or not. Then reflect upon what you learned through that challenge or how you personally grew from it. This approach to journaling aligns better with a more pessimistic outlook on life, as it may seem less Pollyannish to you than writing scores of gratitude platitudes. Plus, you’re also training yourself to see silver linings even in dark situations.
2. Small wins celebration: Another gratitude exercise that is less jarring to one who has a more pessimistic outlook is celebrating small wins, however insignificant they may seem. Recall small moments of joy, like watching a beautiful sunrise or marveling at the beauty of lush green leaves bejeweled with raindrops. Recall small achievements, like consistently placing your keys in the same place, if you were prone to lose them. Observing and celebrating these small wins can help you shift your focus from your default negative thoughts to more positive ones, making cultivating gratitude a little bit easier.
3. Practice mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness meditation or exercises. These encourage you to be present in the moment. Paying attention to your surroundings and sensations can help you notice things to appreciate that you might otherwise overlook.
4. Seek out positive influences: Surround yourself with people, media, and activities that promote positivity and gratitude. This could include uplifting books, podcasts, or spending time with friends who have an optimistic outlook. 

5.  Volunteer or help others: Helping others or volunteering for a cause you support  takes your mind off yourself and onto another. Focusing on others, focusing outwardly, can shift your mood from the negative to a more positive one. (Pro Tip: This is a useful technique for even we glass-is-overflowing types.)
6. Limit negative self-talk: According to Positive Psychology, the best way to limit that negative self-talk is to mentally distance yourself by becoming an observer of those feelings. Doing so takes the sting out of them, making those feelings more neutral. (At the same time, you’re acknowledging you have feelings. This is an important part as well.) To further counteract the effect of negative self-talk, also try to think about positive events in your life. Lastly, by practicing self-compassion, by forgiving yourself, can further help tilt the balance toward the positive for you.
7. Set realistic expectations: Sometimes a negative outlook can be due to holding unrealistic expectations, to continually compare yourself against others. To help adjust a negative attitude in this case, set realistic goals for yourself and congratulate, celebrate yourself, when you achieve them.
8. Express gratitude out loud: Another way to help you cultivate gratitude is to express your gratitude out loud. Make it a habit to verbally express your gratitude to others, whether that’s a colleague who’s helped you in a project or your loved one showing you some kindness. By doing so, you help reinforce an attitude of gratitude. 

BONUS TIP: Seek professional help if needed

If you try the above suggestions and still find you’re battling pessimism that routinely affects your mental well-being, then perhaps this issue is more deeply seated than you realize. In that case, seeking professional help from a licensed therapist or counselor might be in order. These professionals can custom tailor gratitude strategies for you as well as help you work through the underlying issues giving rise to that pessimism. 

Some final thoughts

I encourage you to pick one or two of the above suggestions and begin implementing them. Start on your gratitude journey today, as the sooner you do, the sooner you’ll begin to shift your outlook. As you do, remember that gratitude is a journey, remember to celebrate wins--even the small ones--and be kind to yourself.